I met Lindsey B a couple of years ago at the popular coffee chain I worked at when she was hired as a new barista. She was about 19 and just the cutest little thing. She was about 5’2″ or 3″, petite, light brown hair in a perfect shoulder length bob, blue eyes, cute glasses and a bright smile. She was soft spoken, with a quiet voice. She was called Lindsey B because we already had a Lindsey working there. Lindsey B never had a bad word to say about anyone and really didn’t say many words at all. When we all got frustrated at work because of pressure to get orders out faster or rude customers, she just remained quiet. When she was happy or laughing she radiated and had an infectious giggle.
One time I saw her get angry or maybe hurt, I can’t really recall but she said in this tiny little voice, “shit.” and it was hilarious to me. Then she blushed and laughed too. After awhile she would talk more and say things that would cause our other coworker to say that Lindsey B had her sassypants on that day, and she would blush and giggle. One day she was walking to the back room and almost collided with one of our shift managers who told her to get out of the way to which she replied in her tiny annoyed voice, “I was already in route!” which may have been the longest sentence I heard from her.
Eventually Lindsey B left the coffee shop to focus on school work as she was studying to become a labor and delivery nurse but we would still see her occasionally and she would brighten our days with her smile. Eventually I left also to stay with my youngest son.
But many of you know that even when you leave a job you still hold a fondness for your favorite co-workers and everyone held a fondness for Lindsey B who was like the team’s younger sister.
Wednesday I was told Lindsey B died in a car accident two days before. I was and am shocked. She lost control of her vehicle, hit a ditch, then a tree, then her car overturned and was “engulfed in fire”.
Lindsey B was probably the sweetest person I have ever known and my mind cannot wrap around this horrible ending.
I have seen a few deaths of young people over the last 5 years and they have all been difficult, even devastating in ways as one was a sister in law just shy of her one year wedding anniversary, and one was a high school friend we loved.
But Lindsey B’ s death is hitting me in a way I would not have anticipated. I haven’t gone into detail about how I feel to my friends and family because she was after all, a former co-worker and not really a close friend. I just am struggling to accept it.
A lot of it is coming from a religious aspect. I am a Christian but I do not belong to a church, my spiritual relationship is a quiet one but is there. Lindsey B loved God and loved her friends and family and was loved intensely in return. I cannot see a reason why God would allow her to die a painful death. I understand the idea that death comes because of human sin and failings. I can even understand that God could use a death to bring others to him. But why in that case would be not make it a quick and painless death? Even if God and heaven were on the other side she still had to go through that to get there? I’m struggling hard here. My heart still believes God exists but I can’t understand him here. I don’t see him in this.
I also don’t know how to end this blog so I guess I will just say that we will miss Lindsey B. It is sad that we will never see her smile in person again. Please keep her family and friends in your thoughts and prayers.